A New Place to Call Home

Oh, so much to share.  It's been weeks since I've been able to move thoughts from brain to blog.  In the past month we have sold a house, bought a house, moved into said house and began a myriad of home renovations both DIY and contractor led.  It has been an exciting and stressful time and all the while I've tried to maintain some sense of normalcy amid the sound of nail guns and contractors yelling to one another to "shut off the main water" as a pipe burst out of the wall and soaked one of our spare bathrooms.  Luckily the pipe burst before the renovation of that room was complete so no big worry there, it has been fixed and we have moved on.

Buying and moving into this house has been quite the story but I won't bore you with the long drawn out version. Basically it goes something like this:  We really weren't planning on moving so quickly but it was one of those cases where the stars all aligned and everything seemed to fall perfectly into place, so much so that every now and again Corey and I would look at each other and say, "when is this going to go wrong, this is too good to be true". A few months back, before Christmas to be exact we decided that we would like to think about moving into a bigger space.  Not much was wrong with our current house, we really liked it actually but when Baby O came into the mix a house that was already filled to the brim seemed to bulging at the seams and we were starting to feel more cramped by the day.  This isn't to say that a family can't make it in a small space, people do it all the time but we were aching for a basement and for more trees and something that felt more like ours, not just a stopping point along the way.  So we would research online, never really finding that house that made us excited and we would drive around on Sundays with Ollie strapped in his car seat snoozing.  Then one day we took a left turn on a road we had passed many times but never given a second thought to and we discovered a small neighborhood half a mile from our house that we didn't even know existed.  We saw a house that made us both say, "yea, I could see us pulling into this driveway every day for the next decade" and so we called the Realtor and saw it the next day.  When we walked in we had to look past the outdated fixtures and the forest green trim and make it a blank slate.  As they say on HG TV, it had good bones and we could both see that.  So we put in a low ball offer that we eventually negotiated and could still be happy about, we listed our house and sold it in a week and we sat back and said to ourselves "holy crap are we really doing this?".  We knew it was going to be a lot of work but we were up for the challenge.  I engrossed myself in Pinterest and came up with a plan for paint colors and got a little giddy planning out my new kitchen and Corey mulled over budgets and plans and contractor bids and now here we sit in our almost completed renovation.  We still have many walls to paint and our counter tops don't arrive for another two weeks but the contractors will be done this week and we couldn't be happier with our new home. I will share before and after pictures in blog posts to come.

This past Thursday would have been my mom's 59th birthday.  It's also a year to the day since it was confirmed that she had stage IV pancreatic cancer that had spread to her liver. We are quickly approaching the anniversary of her passing. A year later and it still feels like the rug has been pulled out from beneath all of us.  We go about our business day to day, it still seems unreal that she's not here with us.  I still get the urge to pick up the phone and call her to tell her about something funny or cute that Oliver has done and it still feels like a punch to the gut when seconds later I come to the realization of her absence. I'm not sure if I'll ever get used to that.

About a year before my mom passed she had in a way started a new life.  She was an empty nester.  All of us girls had moved out and our sister Karley had also been moved out,  as on her own as she ever can be.  She lives in a small house with a couple of other girls that also have special needs.  My mom had spent the majority of her adult life caring for others.  Caring for 5 girls was no small task and she did a fantastic job.When she found herself in an empty nest she started doing more for herself.  She was working a job that she loved at Mariposa Farms.  She sorted and packed culinary herbs and I have never seen her so happy in a job before.  She was meeting friends and she loved the people she worked with.  They would go out for birthdays and other special occasions at Casa Margarita, a Mexican restaurant in Grinnell.  My sisters and I would joke that she didn't have much time for us anymore because it seemed every time we would call her she was always doing something.  Every so often her response was "well I can't really talk now I'm at Casa with the girls".  We would feign that our feelings were hurt but in all honesty we were so happy that she was taking time for herself and really enjoying her time.

As we tackle these firsts without her; first birthdays, the first anniversary of her death, first holidays without her, we do so with as much grace as we can.  We try our hardest to honor her memory and the legacy that she left behind.  We hug each other a little tighter and try even harder to enjoy the time we have together.

We toast her birthday with a margarita glass raised in her honor, we spend time with our sisters crying but also laughing.

Her most adamant request on her death bed is that she never wanted us to lose our sense of humor.  We have tried our hardest not to and I hope that when she is looking down on us she is overcome with a sense of accomplishment and pride at how we have honored her.

Nueve (Nine)

Hi, I'm 9 months old.

Friday Oliver turned nine months old.  I carried him for nine months and with all the anticipation that comes with carrying a baby it seemed to drag on and on.  This last nine months has gone by in a flash. From the first smiles, to rolling, to crawling, to pulling up to standing and everything in between, what a roller coaster it has been.  I've said it before and I'll say it again this kid amazes the crap out of me.  Once again here is Oliver in a nutshell. Some things remain the same, other things are new. Regardless these are the things that I hope I can burn into some back portion of my brain, never to be forgotten.

-He has a little dimple in his nose that only shows up when he's smiling really big.
-Loves to pull Kleenexes from the box and then tear said Kleenexes into tiny bits. I'm certain when he can talk he'll blame it on the dog.
-Likes to throw balls, and anything that resembles a ball, like last nights peas.
-Has figured out how to feed the dog. (See above pea throwing)
-Favorite foods are pears, bananas, sweet potatoes and black beans. I season the beans with my southwest seasoning and the kid can throw back some black beans, he obviously has his mom's more spicy palate and not his dad's wimpy  mild palate.
-Loves teasing the dog with a sock. I'm fairly certain they can communicate with each other because they had a pretty rowdy game going the other day and Lola, who is notorious for taking it to the next level when playing stayed miraculously cautious.
-Loves digging in purses, diaper bags and anything else that could possess worldly treasures like pens and shiny objects.
-Dances like nobody's business, especially to the Spanish version of the ABC's and 123's on his Leap Frog table.
-Is so proud to stand unassisted for a few seconds at a time.
-Rather enjoys being the loudest thing in the room. This involves competing with the dog barking, the vacuum cleaner and the hair dryer among other things.

Happy Birthday baby! We love you!

We had a little reign of terror this evening.  I fear this is a sign of things to come. It started with a five minute nap in the car on the way home from the hardware store. Here is the progression, the pictures pretty much speak for themselves.

Needless to say I embraced bedtime this evening.  So now that our little monkey is resting safely in his bed it's time for this momma to deflate.  Good night all!

Rocking It

Some days you rock at being a mom. Other days you find a used diaper at the bottom of the diaper bag that has been there for a week.

Yesterday I found that diaper. Dishes were piled up the sink, dinner was burning on the stove, Oliver was clung to my leg whining to be held because he had decided earlier in the day that he did not need his afternoon nap and the dog was constantly under foot, in other words the wheels were falling off.  These are the days that you just pray to God that they'll be over soon and that you don't drink a bottle of wine to recover at the end of the day.  Half a bottle, okay. Full bottle, not okay.

An almost full night of sleep helped to refresh me and this morning at 8 I gave myself a little pep talk and got out of bed and went to the gym.  Today I was blessed with one of those rockstar days.  I had a great workout and then we had a great playdate.

I am so thankful for this group of moms and kids that I have gotten to know over the last several months.  They bring sanity to a crazy week and a chance for me to sit back and watch Oliver socialize and it gives me a chance to socialize as well. We are an eclectic mix of moms and babies.  Moms from Iowa, moms from Louisiana, moms from California and moms from Indiana.  Regardless of our hometowns and backgrounds we all now call Bloomington home and are raising our babies here.  Our group keeps getting larger and new babies keep joining and today I sat back and listened to the dull roar of several conversations going on around me.  I thought back to the first playdate I went to. I was so nervous.  Would everyone like me? Would I like anyone? Would I meet any friends or would they all be dorks? Would they judge me on how I take care of my baby? Since I set foot in that first house I have felt welcome and there rarely has been a dull moment or moment where there is nothing to talk about. This group of women is amazing and regardless of our choices in childrearing we never judge and can have the fantastic feeling of never being judged.  Some of us still nurse, some of us formula feed.  Some of us feed all organic and some don't.  Some of us use cloth diapers and some of us use disposable.  Some of us work outside of the home and some of us are stay at home mommas. Some of us are content having one baby and some of us want more.  Some of us gave birth naturally and some of us said "bring on the epidural".  Regardless of our choices, we are all moms and I have to say, we are ALL rocking it! It really does take a village to raise a child and I am so, so thankful for my village.  I have a great support system.  I have a fantastic husband, amazing siblings, awesome parents and awesome in-laws, a wonderful extended family and a great group of friends near and far that complete my village. These are the people that help me move past the occasional forgotten diaper and help me to have more rockstar mom days.

Right now...

Now that the holidays have come and gone and I'm slowly deflating back into normal life I'm feeling less than crafty.  I also need to be in a swimsuit in T minus 10 weeks so the inspirational recipes and crafts on Pinterest are having to go on a temporary hiatus. So this week I'm taking a prompt from one of my favorite bloggers, Kelle Hampton, and I'm sharing some of what I love.  What I love right this minute, what I love this week and what I love in general.

Discovering shadows.

Each day I am just filled with the wonder and the amazement that is this little guy. 

Tea. 

I've been enjoying a hot cup of tea in the mornings lately instead of my normal cup of coffee.  It started with a sore throat that called for tea with a bit of honey and has temporarily shelved its cousin Joe. With each cup I feel like I'm channeling the spirit of my mom, she was a tea drinker through and through. Lipton Black with just a bit of sugar. Lately the days of remembering my mom and feeling happy to have been blessed to be on this earth with her for 29 and half years are outweighing the sad days when I feel so let down that I don't get to spend another 40 years with her.

Snuggles after afternoon naps that sometimes turn into longer afternoon naps in the warmth of momma's lap.

An impromptu text from a friend triggered by the gorgeous weather that says "playing outside at 4:15ish, meet us there if your kiddos need to burn off some steam".

Finding new tickle spots that make my baby giggle. (Right under the chin and above the collar bone.)

What are you loving lately?

Too Big for our Britches

In case you haven't been made aware, 2012 is the year of the wriggling baby. Somewhere between Santa dropping some presents down the chimney and 2011 fading into 2012, Oliver has become this whirling, twirling mass of life bouncing from one dangerous thing to the next. My days now are spent mostly following behind him cleaning up messes, pausing to fill his belly with bananas or sweet potatoes or squash, and then back to trying my best to prevent him from climbing the DVD cabinet or pulling lamps down on top of himself.

Today was no exception, as a matter of fact it could have been one of the more challenging days of parenthood thus far. It should be noted that these are the things that we are now too cool for:

1. Diaper changes. What once was an enjoyable time to chatter to my baby has morphed into a session of baby wrangling that involves one arm trying to pin him down while trying to maneuver his tooshie into a diaper with the other arm.

2. Sitting in the bathtub.  Once again a session of baby wrangling.  While he goes from sitting to standing to laying I'm trying to wash avocado out from behind his ears as quickly as possible.  I do have to laugh though as he sprouts up, peeks over the side of the tub at me and squeals with delight.  At the end of bath time I sit sprawled out on the bathroom floor, shirt sleeves soaked to the elbow, harried and wild eyed trying to catch my breath but loving the feeling of his little body wrapped in his hooded towel.

3. Sleeping at 4 am.  I've read that there is a sleep regression phase that happens somewhere between 8 months and 9 months and good Lord have we hit regression.  Apparently 2012 has switched some circadian rhythm in this child's body and at 4 am on the dot he is wide awake and ready to party.  He'll cry to jolt me from my peaceful slumber and once I'm there he's all "hey mom, how's it going, wanna hang out?" Not cool buddy, not cool.  He'll finally nod off again at about 5 or 5:30 and then we're ready to tackle the day at 7. We can't go on like this much longer. Mom is cranky, dad is cranky and let's just say patience is running thin through this place.  As a note to the only other adult in the house, the next time you put an empty cereal box back on the shelf you better sleep with one eye open, the good news is you'll most likely won't be sleeping because the baby is awake. 

As I rocked Oliver to sleep tonight I let the soft ticking of the clock and the gentle sounds of rain from the sound machine bring me back to center.  I wouldn't change this day for anything. It wasn't long ago I was wondering if I would ever get the chance to be a mom and I'm thankful each day that my prayers were answered.  It may have been a challenging day but I can only hope that tomorrow will be better.  I'll pray for more patience and make myself go to bed earlier because I know that at 4 am I have a date with one handsome little man.

Eight Months

Eight months. Wow.  I really wanted to try and avoid the cliche phrase of "where has all the time gone?", but really it's impossible not to say.  I have watched my little bubzy transform from this helpless little creature into a little man that every day is learning something new.  He is seizing his days, discovering and testing,  falling and standing.  Each day he gets a little braver and each day I think he can't get any more awesome and then he does. It truly is amazing the way that the days melt into the next and before you realize it your child has changed in front of your very own eyes. A little over eight months ago I was lying in a hospital bed anxiously awaiting the arrival of the little being that I had been dreaming about.  Wondering if his nose would look the way I pictured it in my head (it does, by the way) and hoping that I could be the mother that I had set out to be.  I'm constantly in awe of the way that he barrels through life.

He learned how to climb up the stairs this week.  I hovered behind him, making sure to not let him fall but wanting to let him do this on his own. I watched as he climbed up one step then the next.  When he got to the top he turned and looked down, not quite surprised that he had made it but proud of himself.  While he was climbing he didn't once look back and didn't look too far forward, but instead focused purely on the step he was on.

Each month I have meant to mark the occasion of his birthday by making a list of his accomplishments but eight months have come and gone and I haven't done it yet. So today is the day.  Here is Oliver, month eight.

Accomplishments:
~Climbed the stairs.
~Babbles.  He has said both mama and dada but I know he hasn't quite put it together what the words mean, soon I think.
~Crawling...everywhere.
~Standing alone for a few seconds at a time.
~Playing pattycake and peek-a-boo.

Likes:
~Pears.
~Sweet Potato Chunks.
~Bath time. Favorite toy in the bath? A measuring spoon.
~Feeding Lola.
~When daddy blows bubbles on his belly.
~Using mom, dad and Lola as his personal jungle gym. (Coincidentally NOT one of Lola's likes.)
~Shutting doors.
~Dumping things.
~Anything shiny, Lola's dog bowls top the list.
~Looking out windows.

Dislikes:
~Peas.
~Diaper changes.
~Getting his nose wiped by Kleenexes.

He loves life and I am so blessed to have a baby that has so many items in his "likes" column and so few in the "dislikes.

Tomorrow marks the end of yet another year.  2011 was pretty rough, we lost two grandparents and my mom. But we gained an amazing member of our family.  Here's to much more celebration than grief in 2012. Cheers!

Getting there...

First off, my apologies for the hiatus in posting.  The plague descended upon our household a week and a half ago and has not relented even after antibiotics were flowing like honey through the promise land.  It started with Oliver, or how we shall now refer to him, the petri dish. Runny nose, check. Cough, check. Whiny, clingy, stuffy hot mess. Check, check, check. Then it jumped to me and turned to full on strep throat. Let me tell you having to take care of yourself is one thing but having to care for someone else when you feel like death is a whole different level.  We are making it through though.  Oliver is almost completely recovered and I'm getting there. I'm also afraid to say that this plague like illness has also swept all inspiration from my body. I have sat down and tried to put words to screen so many times over the last week and I've gotten nothing.  You would think that this time of year inspiration would be pouring from the rafters, lights, presents, music, Oliver's first Christmas but alas, still nothing.

I might have mentioned I'm having some trouble getting into the Christmas mood this year.  I'm still not quite there yet but getting closer. Today I started baking cookies for a couple of cookie exchanges I have this week.  I didn't feel quite Christmas-y enough just mixing, rolling and baking so I decided to take it to the next level.  By next level I mean big hair, big voice, and big, ahem, eyes? Yes, the vocal stylings of Miss Dolly Parton.  It's as my sister Edie put it, if her Christmas album doesn't get you in the spirit nothing will.  So I pressed play and before I knew it I was singing "Go Tell It On the Mountain" at the top of my lungs, playing my imaginary tambourine and tapping my leg like a Tennessee hilljack.  Christmas spirit?  It has arrived.

So due to the illnesses that we have been recovering from I really don't have much else to talk about.  My house is a mess and presents need to be wrapped so I'm going to leave you with a few pictures of the cutest dang baby in the world and we'll leave it at that.  I'll be back next week with an extra cheery post that smells like candy canes and has twinkly lights hanging from it.  Fair enough?

(these were all taken with the camera on my phone so please forgive the slight blur)